By Jack Eaton
March 16, 2015
Conflict
management can be defined as the communication behavior a person employs based
on his or her analysis of a conflict situation.
Another concept, conflict resolution refers to only one alternative in
which parties solve a problem or issue and expect it not to arise again (Cahn
& Abigail, 2014). Despite there
being many things that affect conflict management and conflict resolution,
these are essential tools for personal and professional growth. Through my education and personal
experiences, I have learned why conflict occurs. I have also learned that conflict is not
always negative. Many conflict situations are positive experiences with
positive results. I also plan to discuss
the roles that stress and anger can play in conflict, the ethics of conflict
communication, and my personal overall “best practices” of conflict management
and conflict resolution.
Before we look
into the aspects of conflict management and conflict resolution, we must first
explore and examine why conflict occurs.
According to Cahn and Abigail, conflict occurs because there are deep
divisions in our society that carry over into our interpersonal
relationships. We are all different
people, and we all come from different places.
We have different values and principles.
There are cultural divides between ethnic, racial, and religious groups. There are political and value barriers that
separate conservatives and liberals. There
are gender gaps between the sexes. There
are economic and power divides between upper and lower economic and social
classes. There are age barriers between
older and younger citizens (Cahn & Abigail, 2014).
Problematic
situations arise because we perceive that others seek different outcomes or
they favor different means to the same ends (Cahn & Abigail, 2014). We view conflict as two or more competing
responses to a single event, differences between and among individuals, mutual
hostility between individuals or groups, or a problem that needs a resolution
(Cahn & Abigail, 2014).
I try to remain
aware of possible conflict situations. I
do my best to brace myself and others for impending differences. I try to make sure others know what the
situations are and what the most likely outcomes will be of upcoming work
dilemmas. I encountered this when I
managed a company that provided security officers to local businesses. For example, a client might tell me that
their company is making a switch to a national security provider that can cover
all of their locations nationwide. There
was nothing I could do about it, because we only provided our services in the
Midwest. The potential conflict was that
I was about to have several employees out of work. If I didn’t prepare for it, I would have had
a lot of upset workers. I informed them
of the situation. They understood that I
was in a tough spot trying to find all of them working hours. The point is that communicating with them,
being honest with them, and informing them of what was going to happen softened
the blow or eliminated completely what I considered to be an inevitable
conflict situation. I am not sure where
I developed that skill, because my father is the exact opposite. He is also aware of upcoming conflict
situations. He sees the signs just like
I do, but he does nothing to prepare himself or others. People like to avoid difficult conversations
and situations in hopes that the problem will just go away. My father is definitely one of those people,
and it often causes him even more stress and anger than it otherwise would
have. He will turn 55 years old this
year, and I am not sure he will ever be able to change his ways.
Effective conflict
management occurs when our communication behaviors produce mutual understanding
and an outcome that is agreeable to everyone (Cahn & Abigail, 2014). Conflict management is a skill that can be
learned (Hagemann & Stroope, 2012).
For example, there are several communication behaviors that can be
learned that can and will aid us in conflict management situations. We develop these communication skills through
our experiences. In conflict, the
ability to take a meta-conflict perspective means that you look back at the
conflicts you have experienced and analyze what you did well and what you did
poorly. After learning from your
mistakes, you might even monitor your present interpersonal conflicts and
realize what is going on in order to alter your communication behavior (Cahn
& Abigail, 2014). A person can
better manage their conflicts the more willing they are to do this. Those who do not learn and develop critical communication
skills to manage their conflicts will have a much tougher time finding an
agreeable resolution in their interpersonal conflicts.
Conflicts can be
managed in several different ways. Some
people do their best to avoid them.
Others might act aggressively or violently. You also may give in easily or never give in
at all. According to J.A. Lofrano-Larson
in a 2011 article, conflict management can be characterized into three main
categories or approaches throughout history.
The conservative approach is where conflict is viewed as inappropriate
and harmful to the organization. These
are people who try to avoid conflict as much as humanly possible due to the
perception that all conflicts have negative effects. The behavioral approach is where conflict is
viewed as inevitable, but manageable through preventative measures. This involves the notion that conflicts can
be predictable, and if planned for, they are much more manageable. The systems approach views conflict as
essential to an organization because it helps to point out problems within the
organization, and it is the most commonly accepted approach today
(Lofrano-Larson, 2011).
Conflict
management can be applied to both personal and professional settings. Anytime you have to work with, deal with, or
just are around other people, conflicts can and will occur. In my lifetime, I have managed conflicts very
differently. When I was young, I thought
I knew everything. I was combative, and
when I had a disagreement with someone, I would never consider his or her
argument and viewpoint. This did not
make me a whole lot of friends, and made my life slightly more difficult. As I entered adulthood, I began to realize the
errors of my ways. I began to be far too
agreeable. I would go along with things
even if I did not agree with them. I did
this to eliminate the stress of conflicts that I had experienced in the years
before. As I approach the age of 30, I
now know that the answer to conflict management and conflict resolution lies
somewhere in the middle.
Stress and anger
can play pivotal roles in the conflict management process. Stress is experienced as a biochemical
reaction within the body due to the way in which we interpret and respond to
external pressures, which may be positive or negative (Cahn & Abigail,
2014). In my experience, conflicts can
cause stress, but stress can also cause conflicts. It works both ways. I believe that stress is present in every
conflict resolution situation. When
there is negative stress, finding a resolution to a conflict may be
tougher. Sometimes the level of stress
can be so insignificant it won’t affect the situation at all. I won’t say that stress is necessary or that
it impedes conflict resolution situations, but it is always present. Stress has been both beneficial and harmful
to me in my professional career. It can
sometimes give me anxiety that hinders my goal achievement or my conflict
management skills. However, I sometimes
do my best work when feeling the pressures of stress. A good kind of stress, eustress is a
short-term stress that encourages us to take more seriously and expend more
energy on important activities (Cahn & Abigail, 2014). Converting our stress to eustress will help
reduce the negative impact it has on us.
Anger is the strong
feeling of displeasure, a synonym for antagonism and rage (Cahn & Abigail,
2014). Many of us have experienced anger
and the escalation of conflict to a point where we wanted to inflict pain on
the other person, whether physical or emotionally by verbal abuse
(Cahn/Abigail, 2014). Anger does not
have to be present in all conflict management situations. It is hard to overcome and just gets in the
way of a resolution. I have never had
too many problems with anger in my professional life. I believe I have encountered just as many
upsetting situations as anyone else, but I tend to not get that upset. I’ve always been aware the dangers of
carrying anger with you, and I have always been good at self-regulation and
controlling my emotions. If anything ever
really does make me angry, I’ll find another way to release the tension. It usually involves venting to a friend who
is willing to listen or partaking in some form of physical activity. It doesn’t take long for me to get over
something. By not taking my anger with
me to work, I avoid many unnecessary conflict situations.
There are three
common ways in which people manage their anger:
anger-ins, anger-outs, and anger controllers. Someone who takes their professional anger
out on their family or takes out their personal anger out on their co-workers
is considered to be an anger-in. These are
people who do not express their anger to the person who upset them. For example, when a former boss of mine was
going through a difficult divorce and custody battle, he was much more
irritable. He was constantly taking his
frustrations out on me and others, and it led to conflict. When that same boss was done being an anger-in,
he became an anger-out. Anger-outs are
people who are quick to express their anger, vocally or physically, to the
person who upsets them. For example, I
once had a suggestion over fixing a small scheduling conflict. He was furious that we even brought it
up. He didn’t even hear me out. His attitude was basically “I am the boss,
and this is what I want.” He worked for
a week to rearrange the schedule and did not want me “screwing it up.” I made it a point to be nothing like my boss. I was more of an anger controller than
anything else. Anger controllers are
assertive individuals who do not let their feelings control how they respond in
conflict situations (Cahn & Abigail, 2014). Anger controllers think positively,
collaborate, work together, compromise, and manage their anger by expressing it
effectively and heeding the dos and don’ts before, during, and after
interacting with others (Cahn & Abigail, 2014). This is definitely my personal best practice
for dealing with anger in conflict situations.
Conflicts can be
viewed as positive or negative. They can
have positive or negative effects. In
order for conflict to have positive effects, it first must not be viewed
negatively. Conflict can be
productive. Although when most people
are surveyed, they have a negative view of conflict. Productive conflict occurs when a conflict is kept to
the issue and to those involved and when there is no escalation or loss of
control. Productive conflict does not
rely on overt power and manipulation techniques. Along with these characteristics, a
productive view of conflict situations includes flexibility and a belief that
all conflicting parties can achieve important goals (Cahn & Abigail, 2014). Properly managed, workplace conflicts boost
productivity, strengthen teamwork, and lead to major innovation (Dobson, 2009). Conflict provides an opportunity to resolve
underlying issues and change the way things are done at an organization
(Dobson, 2009). It takes skills to
effectively manage conflict. In conflict
management, our communication behaviors become our conflict management skills,
suggesting that we can learn from our past mistakes and improve the way we
handle conflicts. For example, listening
without interrupting is a behavior that becomes a conflict management skill
(Cahn & Abigail, 2014).
Conflict will have
negative results when it is viewed as being negative and associated with
negative feelings (Cahn & Abigail, 2014).
People just get it in their heads that conflicts are a struggle,
personally threatening, and best avoided.
Negativity in conflict can lead to higher absenteeism and attrition
rates, low employee engagement, decreased productivity and increased disability
claims (Dobson, 2009). Although people
often think that they can learn new communication skills to improve the way
they handle interpersonal conflicts, they do not realize that their attitudes,
beliefs, and emotional reactions may have to undergo change as well. People need to see the opportunities to
resolve problems and improve relationships with the people who mean the most in
conflict situations. An important first
step in the process is to have the ability to adopt a mind-set that embraces
conflict as an opportunity while recognizing the risks involved (Cahn & Abigail,
2014).
Ethics can play a
huge role in conflict management. Ethics
are our moral view which defines what we believe and think is good and evil,
right and wrong, virtue and vice, as well as just and unjust (Cahn &
Abigail, 2014). According to the Society
for Human Resource Management, studies have shown that companies that work to build
and maintain ethical workplace cultures are more financially successful and
have more motivated and productive employees (Meinert, 2014). Despite this, unethical behavior occurs in
the workplace quite frequently. When
presented with a situation that could potentially compromise our ethics, we
have to know what to do.
Some situations
have no perfect way to be handled. On
one side you have ethics. On the other
side you have the expectations of your superiors and co-workers. Sometimes the most ethical decisions involve
getting someone else in trouble. When you
make unethical decisions, you are more liked by your colleagues, but the
company suffers. I am reminded once
again of my time working for a security company. I was the training instructor for all new
hires in northern Illinois and southern Wisconsin. The company had developed a 12-hour training course
on everything you need to know to become a licensed security officer. The only problem was that the state of
Illinois required 20 hours of training to become a licensed security officer,
and the state of Wisconsin had no training requirement. In Wisconsin, I condensed my class into 8
hours so that I could get it done in 1 business day. My General Manager asked me to do the same
for my Illinois students. There was an
urgency to get our new employees working in the field as quickly as possible,
and three days of training was getting in the way of that. The General Manager was aware of the state
law and the requirements, but he wanted to see if we could get away with
it. I was very uncomfortable doing it,
and I knew that if I got caught, I could lose my job. I handled the situation by asking our HR
representative for advice. She helped
get the point across to the General Manager.
As a result, the company incurred massive amounts of overtime, and some
shifts could not even be covered due to the fact that the new hires had to
partake in the three days of training before working in the field. However, we did not break any state laws or
receive any fines, and I got to keep my job.
I am almost certain that we would have never been caught, but I knew how
important it was to keep my ethics intact.
There are many
varieties of conflict and they can be handled in many different ways. Some are better than others. Conflict management is an inevitable part of
both our personal and professional lives.
Despite there being many things that affect conflict management and
conflict resolution, these are essential tools for personal and professional
growth. They can help us have success in
all of our relationships. Through my
education and personal experiences, I have learned why conflict occurs and how
to reduce the impact of those conflicts.
I have also learned that conflict is not always negative. Many conflict
situations are positive experiences with positive results. Some people even believe that conflict is
necessary within an organization. Stress
and anger can play a role in conflict.
However, we can use stress as motivation to solve our issues rather than
let it hinder us from accomplishing our goal of conflict resolution. Keeping
your ethics in tact is also important in conflict management. In closing, we must learn through our experiences
to develop the communication skills necessary to succeed in conflict management
and conflict resolution. Some of those
experiences may have been positive, and some may have been negative. The important part is that you learn and
develop those skills.
References
Cahn, D. D. & Abigail, R. A. (2014). Managing
Conflict through Communication (5th Ed.). Boston, MA: Pearson Education,
Inc.
Lofrano-Larson, J.A. (2011) Conflict Management Program Development. ProQuest Dissertations and Theses. Ann Arbor, United States.
Dobson, S. (2009) Finding Positives in Conflict. Canadian HR Reporter. Volume 22, Issue 13. Carswell
Publishing: Toronto, Canada.
Meinert, D. (2014) Creating an Ethical Workplace.
Society for Human Resource Management. Vol. 59 No. 4.
www.wbgglobal.com
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